5 days till Wicked

I missed day 6

So some might think I am just a big Dreamer, floating from one thing to the next . . .

But in truth, I actually do have real dreams and goals and I am accomplishing them. I feel I have come a long way in the past few years. I have taken a break from school leaving SUU in my senior year but it has turned out for the best. I do credit all my blessings to my Father in heaven who has blessed my in tremendous ways. Especially by helping my Dad find me a job and telling me to move to the Valley (against my wishes at the time).

I feel like it might be good thing to write down my story, so it might help others and help me have closure, really count my blessings, and move to another stage in my life. I might do this in many posts. I hope from this many can see that we all have a time where we have to grow, and from that are weaknesses can become our strengths.

I guess I will start with how I came here to move to the Provo Valley. . . .

6 Days Till Wicked!

"Nobody in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was, is ever gona bring me down"

-Alphaba

Today's thought . . . . When I am driving

I am going to start throwing up a little double honk and a wave to the people I pass on the street. It really is fun, and then those people will be thinking all day 'I wonder who that was' - I think we should all do each other a favor and bring more Joy into each others lives! Be creative and see how you can bring something into anothers' life that is fun or enjoyable, different or sweet. Man sometimes we could all use some mixin' up in life!

Wicked Count Down

7 Days Till Show Time!

What are my dreams?

What are my dreams?

My dreams are simple. I want to be happy. The kind of happy listening to Dave Matthews makes you.

“just waistin’ time lettin’ the hours roll by doing nothing for the fun. . . . wither right or wrong, makes us want to stay up for a while”

I want to dance with my hair down in the living room with the man I love.

And I don’t mean slow dancing to cheesey romantic music. I mean dancing like we were at a concert, right there on the front row! Like hands waving singing out loud kind of dancing.

And then collapsing on our old vintage couches when the sun has just barley sets on a spring evening and the glow of the lights in the house create a soft twilight glow.

and having fruit punch in tall glasses with bendy straws (long live the bendy straws!)

I want to play the guitar and make music and fill our house with smiles and glows and laughter. I want to be happy in his arms.

My dreams: to sit on the front lawn on a big levi blanket and read books with my head on his stomach and his hand on my shoulder.

I want to have a home full of love and smiles, where nothing it to big a deal and we can eat ice cream and fresh vegetables. Where we can play and sit.

I want our children to be loving and because we’re simple and little has to much meaning in our lives.

Only what is truly important will be held dear and we will protect that will our lives, and what will that be?

Our souls, our spirits, and the fact that simple happiness is what we will strive for.

This is my dream.

And Here Begins the Countdown to Wicked!!!
8 days till show time

to the one who never meant me friday night

'The last think I want is to become a puddle of mush at your feet, or in your arms, or anywhere near you, in fact.  When I am with you I want to be strong and full, happy, and free.'

There is a man that might be reading this.  I have thought for a while now as to what to put here.  In case he does read it, what could I say that would make him come back to me.  and the honest truth is I don't have any fancy words, or a magical message of eloquent words. 

I did just that on friday night.  I melted.  I forgot where I had come from.  turned to mush at your feet.  

I have to tell myself that can not happen anymore.  I have been through to much, come through so many years of pain to forget who I am.  

I am strong and beautiful and smart.  I have come so far from the mush that I was.   I con't lose myself in loving someone else.  

Because ever once in a while some one will come along that actually needs you to be you.  the strong you.  and not do what they ask, or what they say, because they might not mean it.  Then is when they will need you to be strong and not mushy.  

I forgot that, and I can't anymore, forgetting who you are causes to much pain.  

I'm not perfect but I am looking for you and hoping you will understand.

Love

:( I'm just sad