to the one who never meant me friday night

'The last think I want is to become a puddle of mush at your feet, or in your arms, or anywhere near you, in fact.  When I am with you I want to be strong and full, happy, and free.'

There is a man that might be reading this.  I have thought for a while now as to what to put here.  In case he does read it, what could I say that would make him come back to me.  and the honest truth is I don't have any fancy words, or a magical message of eloquent words. 

I did just that on friday night.  I melted.  I forgot where I had come from.  turned to mush at your feet.  

I have to tell myself that can not happen anymore.  I have been through to much, come through so many years of pain to forget who I am.  

I am strong and beautiful and smart.  I have come so far from the mush that I was.   I con't lose myself in loving someone else.  

Because ever once in a while some one will come along that actually needs you to be you.  the strong you.  and not do what they ask, or what they say, because they might not mean it.  Then is when they will need you to be strong and not mushy.  

I forgot that, and I can't anymore, forgetting who you are causes to much pain.  

I'm not perfect but I am looking for you and hoping you will understand.